The poems and typewriter-thoughts of Mark Petersen
There's a reason why the word 'dialog' has the letters d, o, g in it. I find it the part of writing that slows me down and disappoints me the most. Until I write long enough that my characters develop their own voice. Then it becomes a case of going back and re-reading earlier portions to see if that voice was there at the beginning. Leave that line in. Go back to it in a month and see if it's still true to Ren's character. In the meantime, keep writing.
I'd say leave it in for now. Just write a first draft, and edit later. I find that what flows off my tounge, or through my fingers first is pretty real. And we do say silly stuff, or dramatic stuff sometimes, and our friends react to it and if they're good friends, will call us on silly stuff, or ask us to explain. In the moment, Ren's statement is real to him, and later he may look back, but now - that's it! It's what makes us real, vulnerable, and unique characters.
I am going to leave it in, there was no question above as to that. I was just trying to show you all what I had learned and how I am applying it to my writing as an example.
Yes, after I wrote and sent my response, I realized that you knew that, and were sharing it with us. Good for you.
A good tip (from the BBC) is to write a monologue for each character in that character's tone of voice.
Hope all is well with you. It has been a while since you posted anything.
Ah, nice to discover you're a writer too. I agree, dialogue is not only a great way to develop character but for me it's a heck of a lot more fun than prose.